During football season, a big defensive play rarely gets the recognition it deserves, so the coaches devised a way to make the defense feel special. The players would be rewarded with a visit to Oberweis and a thick creamy shake, in the flavor of their choosing. Being an offensive player, I never got to experience the wonder of the delicious dairy treat. So I hopped in the Oldsmobile, headed to the Oberweis drive-thru, and made it back home just in time to enjoy some shakes and the Blackhawks game.

The first shake I enjoyed was butter pecan due to the fact that my mother demanded one. It tasted just like the ice cream but did not resemble a melted mess and actually had a rich taste. As I turned to the TV, it reminded me of Blackhawks defenseman Niklas Hjalmarsson: not flashy, smooth, and did its job to the best of its ability.

The next shake I sampled was birthday cake

flavored. This shake was a little thinner than the rest but still very tasty. The only things I didn’t like was the fact that it was a little too sweet for my liking and that the sprinkles in the shake made it seem like someone got a

little too excited while making it. This shake reminded me of the Blackhawks’ very own Patrick Kane (get well soon): a little sweet, pretty bright and tending to celebrate a little too much, but I still love it.

In my milkshake Olympics, the silver medal

was won by cookies and cream. A perfect melody of the Oreo cookie complemented the mellow flavor of the cream. This immediately brought up memories of good ol’ Corey Crawford. If you ever end up in a mess when ordering a shake, this is the safety net to bail you out. Rarely is this combination ever bad.

The gold medal, the Stanley Cup, the champion, is better known by its true name: cookie dough. I have a soft spot for cookie dough, as it was the only reason Couture Cupcake got a single star in my last review, and Oberweis made me savor every last sip of this shake. It can only be described as the Marian Hossa of shakes. An old favorite of mine, its constant effort and energy leave me breathless. Just when you think it’s done, you look in the bottom of the red and white cup, see the leftover chunks of dough and boom: a game-winning goal.

Oberweis completely satisfied my needs. I got four phenomenal shakes for just over twenty bucks, as well as a lifetime of memories.